guess who is twenty-six weeks

I know the last time I’ve written anything baby related I was eighteen weeks and now I’m going into the final stretch. There’s a lot I wanted to write about but honestly I didn’t have the energy to get on my laptop or really leave my bed. Pregnancy has really taken a lot out of me and I just now feel like I recovering and getting a sense of myself back. I’m just happy that she took most of my energy and not any of my essential vitamins or teeth, both my sister and mom lost teeth while they were pregnant. It’s funny that most symptoms you think about related to pregnancy has not happened to me yet, I’m not constantly running to the bathroom and I only have some cravings here or there. One big thing I am surprised about is my mood is not too far off from the regular. I’m sure Alex would disagree but personally I think I’m doing fine.

I did have a doctor appointment today and whenever I go she just repeats how perfect everything is and how well I am doing. I am having hip issues that make it hard to sit for a long period of time so I’m always walking around or laying down, but next month I am seeing a doctor that can adjust pregnant women so hopefully that will give me some relief. I am also experiencing Braxton Hicks already that was to be expected though because my mom had them too. Everything else is just perfect I guess, I’m measuring on point, my weight gain is gradual and overall baby and I are healthy. I never expected such a smooth sailing pregnancy physically but it’s a nice relief to Alex and me.

I really want to touch on something else that I really had to deal with during my first and second trimester and that was the anxiety of it all. I have horrible anxiety as it is and it had gotten worse after I found out I was pregnant. I couldn’t be happy I wanted to so badly but I couldn’t find it in myself to be happy. Everyone around me was overjoyed and excited but here I was just a blue little sadness in the corner of the room. Now I still feel apprehensive but I have generally overcome this and the biggest thing I want the world to know or another expecting mom mostly is its okay to feel that way. I kept being told to be happy and that was I was feeling wasn’t valid and now I will be the one to tell another mother that you’re not the only one. It is okay not to be overjoyed, it’s okay to look at your partner and not understand their excitement and finally its okay that you try to ignore it until you can’t anymore. There will come a time that you do feel happy and you start to feel like yourself.

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